16 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Secure

feel secure
Photo by Elizabeth Tsung

How can you make your girlfriend feel safe? How can you reassure her of your love despite her doubts and insecurities? We all hope to make the people we love feel safe and secure. Sometimes, however, this is easier said than done. Memories from the past and uncertainty about the future can cause your girlfriend to feel insecure. This can add stress and tension to your relationship, and it’s most likely difficult for you to see your girlfriend feeling so anxious and unsure.

If you have found true love with the girl of your dreams, you would try your best to understand her needs and fulfill them. Here are some of the ways you can make your girlfriend feel secure.


1. Be open about your thoughts and feelings about your relationship.

Women appreciate it deeply when their partners share their innermost thoughts with them. It can be difficult to open up, especially if you’re not used to doing so with your friends and family. You should make an effort to start expressing yourself for your girlfriend, and show her that you aren’t afraid to be vulnerable.


2. Communicate your fears and concerns.

Being open isn’t limited to sweet, romantic thoughts and feelings. Serious relationships bring serious issues, as two complex and dynamic people learn to navigate a new life together. Learn to express your fears, doubts, and worries, in a way that lets your girlfriend know that you want to handle them in a constructive way.


3. Remove temptations from your life.

It’s obvious that you should delete any dating apps from your phone, and avoid flirting with other girls. But some possible pitfalls are not always obvious – for example, girls with whom you have an ambiguous friendship. It’s easy to rationalize that you’re not doing anything wrong, but if you examine the situation, you’ll know in your heart if it’s a potential threat that you need to remove from your relationship.

Also read: How to be Faithful in a Relationship: 12 Ways


4. Ask your girlfriend if certain things trigger her insecurity.

Sometimes, there are only a few specific things that you need to do to heal your girlfriend’s insecurity. These things can be surprisingly simple. If you talk to your girlfriend about the situations or actions that make her feel insecure, you may find out that all she needs is a phone call letting her know that you’re coming home late, or a planned romantic date that she can look forward to regularly. The small act of anticipating your girlfriend’s needs can greatly impact her confidence and trust.


5. Always tell her that you love her.

You might assume that it’s obvious, and that you don’t need to say the words, but telling your girlfriend that you love her is a very reassuring gesture. Don’t let a day pass by without telling your girlfriend how you feel about her, and how much you value her presence in your life.

Also read: 11 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved


6. Remember the things that she likes.

Keeping your girlfriend’s preferences and favorite things in mind makes her feel that you care about her. Notice the simple things like her favorite foods, colors, and places, and try to surprise her sometimes with unexpected gifts to let her know that you do things for her because you want to, not because you think that you have to.


7. Be patient with encouraging her to share the difficult feelings that cause Her Insecurity.

Let your girlfriend know that it’s okay to be sad or angry, and that your relationship will not be in danger if she shares her thoughts. Insecurity grows when people suppress their emotions and become ashamed. Provide a safe space where her emotions are recognized and welcomed.

Also read: How to be More Patient in a Relationship: 14 Tips


8. Compliment your girlfriend when she does something great.

We know that children need praise, but adults benefit from encouragement too. When your girlfriend makes progress in important areas of her life, even if they’re small steps, give her positive feedback and let her know that she’s doing well.


9. Be open about your relationship to other people.

You don’t need to post on social media about your relationship all the time. However, you do have to let people know that you’re in a relationship. Assure your girlfriend that you’re diverting any attention coming from people who would be harmful to your relationship.


10. Be a man of your word.

Always keep your promises to your girlfriend, and be a reliable presence in her life. Your consistency will ease her doubts about your relationship, and she will know that she can always count on you.

Also read: How to be Honest in a Relationship: 12 Ways


11. Let your girlfriend know that you are a team.

When times are difficult, assure your girlfriend that no matter what happens, you will face life’s challenges together. Let her know that she’s not alone, that you can take things one day at a time, and that the next steps will become clear to you later on.


12. Pay attention to her.

When your girlfriend expresses her feelings, give her your full attention. Intentional presence is one of the most reassuring things that you can give. Show genuine interest in what she has to say, and make her feel that you’re really listening. Sometimes, you have to find out if your girlfriend wants you to help her find a solution, or just needs to vent. You might rush towards problem-solving when what she needs most is for you to listen and be there for her.


13. Help her re-examine her insecurity.

When your girlfriend is struggling with negative thoughts and self-judgement, gently challenge her to see things in a different light. Offer her your outside perspective, and be kind and patient. Negative feelings can take a long time to resolve. Remind her of her beautiful qualities, and how you can always see them, especially during the bad days when she has trouble seeing them herself.

Also read: How to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship: 12 Tips


14. Encourage her to care for her mental health.

With the changes and challenges of the modern world, it’s no secret that many of us face anxiety and depression. Check in with your girlfriend to make sure she’s taking care of her sleep, diet, and exercise. Discuss this with her if you feel that she may benefit from therapy.


15. Always put her first.

Make your girlfriend a priority, whether you’re going about your daily routine or making big plans for the years to come. Always find the time to send her messages and tell her you’re thinking about her. Learn to make sacrifices and put aside your wants so that you can fulfill her needs.


16. Let your girlfriend know that your love is unconditional.

Make sure that your girlfriend knows that your love isn’t based on her status, looks, or anything external. Show her that you love her all the time, not just when she’s desirable or has her life altogether. Support her continuously, especially in the areas of her life that give her anxiety.

Most things that make people feel secure come naturally when you love them. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of letting yourself be more in tune with your feelings, and more sensitive to your girlfriend’s needs. These simple actions will make your girlfriend feel deeply secure, and help you build the love and trust that you need to make your relationship last.

Also read: 12 Ways to Really Love Your Girlfriend

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