Love is that one powerful thing that makes us go on despite the ugliness that comes along. In a relationship, however, loving alone is not enough. It requires patience to keep it going. You can love each other too much, but without it, all the promises and plans you have made together can go down the drain.
I know that patience is not for everyone. Some of us do not have the strength to stretch it any longer, especially if we have already given more than what we normally can. However, it is important to recognize that patience offers a lot of wonders, both for the relationship itself and for everyone around you.
Here’s how you can be more patient in your relationship.
1. Be sure that you know your partner as an individual.
It is necessary that you truly know your partner separately from the relationship. Do not just focus on who they are as a significant other. You have to learn their character as a person, both the good and the bad. This way, it will be easier to understand the things about them that test your patience.
2. Accept their negative side.
Your partner has flaws as much as you do. You cannot make a relationship work if you easily dismiss them just because they are different from you. Take note that your partner is a different person, and you should not expect that their response to circumstances is the same as yours. Instead, look for areas of opportunity that can help you strengthen your patience.
3. Allow your partner to understand you, too.
Being patient and understanding should be two-way. Your partner should also know who you are so they would be able to know where your issues are coming from. Remember, there are a lot of factors that affect our responses and how we treat people, such as childhood experiences and trauma.
4. Know how to communicate.
Good communication is one of the most important keys to be more patient in a relationship. You have to offer your time to discuss your issues, plans, and aspirations, both as an individual and a couple. Sit down and lay your thoughts on the table. Be ready that you will disagree at some point. Be mature to listen to your differences. Be open and listen well.
5. Lend your ears to your partner.
It is not always easy to comprehend someone, especially in an argument when you only want to prove your point. However, your relationship would eventually fail if you do not know how to hear your partner out. This is common among couples who do not recognize that part of understanding is listening. Without proper listening, both of you would only end up arguing with pointless rebuttals.
6. Make sure your partner can be themselves around you.
To maintain a healthy relationship, see to it that you allow your significant other to show their natural selves. Do not let them walk on eggshells, afraid that you will judge them by their actions. In the first place, you should not be in a relationship with someone if you cannot take seeing them in their natural state.
7. Spend quality time together.
Patience is not only achieved by accepting, forgiving, and tolerating. It also requires you to dedicate some quiet time with each other. You do not even have to talk. Simply taking a walk and holding each other’s hands is already a way to strengthen patience and love. Nonverbal communication is a good exercise to understand your partner’s language without them having to explain anything. Note, however, that it is important to speak up when you have issues that bother you.
8. Avoid joining them in their bad mood.
I know negative vibes can be contagious. But joining your partner in their tantrums would only worsen the situation. When they are angry over a particular issue, allow them to vent out how they feel so they could breathe and calm themselves. This would give you the chance to talk to them and clearly discuss ways to resolve the issue.
9. Know how to compromise.
It is impossible to strengthen a relationship that has no compromise. It is the key to be more patient as you exercise give and take and respect for each other’s differences. The secret is to lay down your terms so both of you know what to expect from each other. Remember that a relationship has to be equal and fair when it comes to decisions.
10. Look for activities you can enjoy together.
Make your relationship playful and fun. Find hobbies that you can do as a team so you can develop patience as you get to work hand in hand. You can go for mental games or physical activities that demand cooperation and trust. This will practice you to fill up each other’s weaknesses and take advantage of your strengths.
Also read: Top 8 Secrets To Be Happy in a Relationship
11. Lower your expectations.
Expectations are the culprit of disappointment. You feel upset when your partner does not give what you expect from them. This makes you impatient, causing the relationship to develop issues that are not supposed to be there. Do not always expect your partner to do things for you. Remind yourself that they might not have the capacity to give what you want, and that should be okay.
12. Remember that it is not always rainbows and butterflies.
You will experience many situations that will make you feel uneasy, and that is normal. Life is not worth living without the moments that demand you to step out of your comfort zone. Learn to deal with new, uncomfortable situations. That is how you stretch your patience as you work your way out and know how to make yourself feel better.
13. Remind yourself that it is not always about you.
Sometimes when you get too attached to your partner, you take everything personally and assume that their actions have something to do with you. This leads you to overthink, giving you unnecessary pain and doubts that could ruin a beautiful relationship. The key is to keep in mind that although your partner loves you, you should not expect that their world would revolve around you. At the end of the day, you are still two separate individuals. Their actions and decisions do not have to consider your feelings all the time.
14. Tell yourself that being impatient gives nothing but harm.
You cannot be patient every day, and you should not invalidate it because you are a human being with emotions. But once you feel that you can no longer take it and you are about to lash out, remind yourself of the consequences that you might regret.
Keep in mind that even the simplest fights and disagreements can cause a relationship breakdown. And sadly, for some, they can no longer fix it. So, always think of what is best for both of you by being careful with how you respond to unpleasant situations.
Faith and love produce patience.
As the popular proverb has been telling us, patience is a virtue. Although not everyone was born with it, it helps to know that it is something we can develop through time. Trust yourself and your significant other. Understand that there will be downtimes. Nurture you love and faithfulness. Be patient with each other and you will find yourselves loving and respecting more than you ever did.
Also read: How to be Honest in a Relationship: 12 Ways