How to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship: 12 Tips

insecurities in relationship
Photo by Agustin Fernandez

Your partner may find it cute when you’re jealous at the beginning of the relationship. However, it eventually turns into a toxic wedge when done out of habit.

Insecurity is not always harmful. Sometimes, it inspires people to become a better person and value their significant other. However, too much of anything is not good. An insecurity that gets out of hand can develop an atmosphere in the relationship that can destroy both of you. It can cause breakups and fights that may leave you feeling inferior to yourself.

Do not let your insecurity sink its teeth too deep. If it has already started to harm you and your relationship, you may consider the following tips to overcome it.


1. Work on your self-esteem.

It is tough to heal oneself from insecurities. They affect your emotional stability. One of the best ways to deal with them is to build your self-esteem. You have to start by practicing self-care and focusing on yourself. You may take some time off from work and send yourself on a spa date. You can also look for a workout set that you can turn into a daily routine.


2. Recognize the reason for your insecurities.

You cannot fix a problem if you do not get to its root cause. You also have to acknowledge it and admit to yourself that it is happening. To overcome your insecurities, you ought to look back on the possible causes of your struggle. Dig deep and understand yourself. You can even go as far as your childhood memories. Many individuals go through old traumas without even knowing it.


3. Learn to trust yourself.

You cannot achieve a healthy relationship if you do not trust yourself and your partner. Such an emotion does not only mean being secure that your boyfriend or girlfriend will cheat on you. It also includes being confident that you have someone to share secrets with and be comfortable with in anything you say and do.

One of the essential requirements to ensure trust in a relationship is to live up to your word. Make your partner feel that you are present, both emotionally and physically. You should also hold each other accountable when mistakes are made.

You must also trust your instincts. Your significant other has not given you a reason to make you doubt them, so do not start feeling jealous. If you think something is wrong, listen to your guts and discuss it with your partner.

Also read: 10 Ways to Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship


4. Avoid thinking too much.

Overthinking is one of the culprits of gaining negative emotions that are not supposed to exist. If your boyfriend/girlfriend goes on a night out without you, do not assume that they do not want you to join them. Stop taking things personally. Your partner’s actions are not always about you.

Allow them to have fun with their friends and avoid being suspicious. Just because they cannot respond to your messages right away does not mean they are already cheating. For your sanity, listen to your partner and have faith.


5. Respect your partner’s personal space.

A healthy relationship is between two people who know the importance of giving each other some space. If you are going through insecurities or jealousy, you probably need to distance yourself from your partner for a while. You can take it as an opportunity to focus on yourself, pursue your interests, and spend time with other people who matter to you.

Once you learn to love doing things on your own, you become more confident, and you get to understand that there is more to life than your romantic relationship.

Also read: How to be Respectful in a Relationship: 15 Thoughtful Ways


6. Do not dwell on your past experiences.

You might have experienced an ugly relationship in the past, but that should not determine how you should live in the present. The things you have gone through can mess up your current love life, but it helps to keep in mind that no one else can control your life but you.

You are with a different person already, so do not look back on the ex who hurt you. Let the past stay in the past. Learn from them. Focus on the now.

Also read: How to be Positive in a Relationship: 10 Simple Ways


7. Talk to people who will sincerely listen.

If your past experiences are still affecting the way you live life now, it is advisable to see a therapist. Please remember that nothing is wrong with it. It is the right thing to do when things become unbearable. It is a way to find clarity and slowly let go of your insecurities through a professional psychologist.

However, if you are not ready yet, you may also talk to close friends and family, as long as you can open up about your situation without feeling judged. You can also download online apps where you can express your thoughts without inhibitions.


8. Limit your time on social media.

There are many reasons not to spend too much time on social media, and one of them is its content that makes you feel inferior. Not everything you see in your Instagram feeds is real. Avoid comparing yourself to men or women who have superficial priorities.

Being on social media all the time may also trigger you to stalk your partner’s ex, which will only make you feel insecure. Remember, such behavior does nothing but unnecessarily hurt you.


9. Confront your problem.

It can be challenging to admit that you have insecurities, but you should not avoid them. It may make you feel uncomfortable, but you have to face them. Do not avoid conversations about it. Communicate with your partner. It is also a way for them to understand you and know how they could help you.


10. Spend time with a friend.

Do not be too hard on yourself. Your insecurities may make you feel awful, but that does not mean you have to feel alone. It helps to go out, see your friends, and let them know what you are going through.


11. Make yourself productive.

It is best to turn your insecurities into productive energy. You can start exercising or look for activities where you can pour your attention to. Being physically active is a great way to improve your self-esteem and care for your mental health.

According to studies, regularly working out is effective in reducing anxiety and depression. It boosts your mood, giving you a clearer headspace and better energy.


12. Love yourself.

Appreciate the person that you are. Avoid dwelling on your flaws. Focus on the qualities you love about yourself, your strengths, and the things that make you loved by the people around you. You are enough. And you are bigger than your insecurities.

One thing to remember is that your negative emotions are valid. You have to recognize them so you can start healing yourself. On the other hand, these emotions should not give you the ticket to have behaviors that will only ruin a relationship. Keep in mind that when you are insecure, it is not your partner’s fault. You have to work on it because it is all about you.

Also read: How to Love Yourself in a Relationship: 15 Ways to Practice Self-Love


Let yourself grow.

Insecurities make you feel that you are not enough. If you start feeling that way, do not listen. Focus on your self-improvement. Aim to become a better human being. And most importantly, do not change for your partner. Change for yourself.

Also read: 16 Wise Ways to be a Better Person in a Relationship

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