How to Forgive Each Other in a Relationship: 12 Tips

forgive each other
Photo by Chermiti Mohamed

No relationship is perfect, and it is normal for couples to fight or hurt each other sometimes. Without forgiveness and second chances, a relationship cannot last.

Is your relationship currently on the rocks because you and your partner have hurt each other? If you want to save your relationship, both of you should release forgiveness and decide to move forward and never look back.

If you are looking for ways to forgive each other in a relationship, below are tips to help you. The first six are ways to release forgiveness, while the last six are meant to help you ask for your partner’s forgiveness.


How to Release Forgiveness


1. Decide to forgive your partner.

Forgiveness is a decision to make. You cannot just wait until the pain is gone before you can decide to forgive your partner. If you really want to keep your relationship, then decide to forgive your boyfriend or girlfriend as soon as possible.

Of course, it does not mean that deciding to forgive will instantly take away the pain. It is a process that you have to go through. What is important is that you are willing to give your partner a second chance and move on from what happened in the past.


2. Work on it every day.

In connection to no. 1, forgiveness is not just a one-time decision. You have to continually and consciously decide to forgive your partner until it hurts no more. Meaning you have to release forgiveness each day.

Upon waking up each morning, remind yourself that you love your partner, and you choose to forgive and forget their mistakes. Then, whenever you are reminded of the pain and get angry again, be firm with the decision to move on.


3. Stop reminiscing your partner’s mistakes.

Moreover, you have to stop yourself from remembering how your partner has hurt you. As long as you keep replaying that painful scene in your mind, you cannot move on. You will be in constant pain, and forgiving will become too difficult.

Therefore, whenever you are reminded of what happened, divert your attention immediately. Always keep your mind occupied with something productive. You can review your lessons, focus on your work, or find a hobby that interests you.


4. Do not involve past mistakes in present arguments.

Most couples have a problem moving forward because either one or both partners always open up about past mistakes during recent fights. They would always bring them up, and the wounds are fresh again.

If you really want to forgive your partner, do your best to ‘forget’ about what they have done to you. Forgetting means not bringing it up ever again. Even if you have future fights, stop yourself from making your partner’s past mistakes as references.


5. Pray for God to help you heal and forgive.

Releasing forgiveness is not easy. Some people even take years before they can finally free themselves from pain and completely forgive those who have hurt them. Sometimes, it even takes a miracle for someone to forgive.

If you are struggling with forgiveness, ask God to help you. Pray that He cleanses your heart from the hatred and bitterness that poison it. Ask Him to give you the courage to let go of the pain and choose love despite what happened.


6. Forget about revenge.

Many people who have been hurt want to get even with those who hurt them. Some think that they can only move on or forgive after they are done with revenge. However, this is not true. The more you seek revenge, the more you hate the person. Your heart would turn stone-cold towards that individual. Even if you have successfully done your revenge, it is unlikely that you would still think about forgiveness afterward.

Therefore, let go of the need for revenge. Do you really want to hurt back the person you love? Besides, revenge can only worsen the problem in your relationship. If you really want to save your love, then choose to forgive and let go.


How to Ask for Forgiveness


7. Humbly ask for forgiveness.

If you have hurt your partner, the first thing you need to save your relationship is humility. Be willing to admit your mistake and completely repent from it. Then, humbly confess to your boyfriend or girlfriend and ask for forgiveness.

Asking for forgiveness means you are repentant of what you did and regret hurting others. It also means that you are ready to accept however your partner would react to your confession.

Also read: How to be Humble in a Relationship: 14 Ways


8. Accept the possible consequences of your mistakes.

In connection to no. 7, you have to brace yourself for the possible consequences of what you did. If you are really eager to receive your partner’s forgiveness and keep your relationship, you have to accept the consequences of your actions.

For instance, your partner would get mad at you and find it hard to trust you again. You might have to endure silence and cold treatment for a while too.


9. Be patient with your partner’s complete healing.

Do not rush your partner into forgiving you. The deeper the wound you made, the longer it would take to heal. You cannot blame the person for staying angry with you, right? However, if you love your boyfriend or girlfriend, you will not give up.

Continue to stay by your partner’s side. Be thankful if they are willing to give you a second chance, even if they are still hurting. Show your partner that you really regret what you have done, and you are willing to wait until they become okay.

Also read: How to be More Patient in a Relationship: 14 Tips


10. Show that you are repentant by changing genuinely.

Accompany your repentance with transformation. Your partner must see that you have really repented through your changed actions. Stop doing what hurt your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Of course, your change should be genuine. It must be consistent whether your partner is around or not. Embrace the change not because you just want to prove something but because you truly regret hurting your beloved.


11. Be consistent in earning back your partner’s trust.

It will not be easy, and it might take very long, but keep fighting for your love anyway. As you show your partner that you have truly changed, it will be easier for them to heal and release forgiveness.

Moreover, even if there would be times when your partner will push you away, stay. Probably, they do not really mean it. Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you will not give up easily.

Also read: How to Build Trust in a Relationship: 14 Effective Tips


12. Pray to soften your partner’s heart.

You cannot change nor heal your partner’s heart. Therefore, surrender the situation to the Author of love—God.

First, confess and ask forgiveness from Him for what you have done to your partner. Second, ask Him to help you change and never make the same mistake again. Third, pray for your partner to be comforted, be healed completely, and have the strength to forgive you.


Forgive As You Have Been Forgiven

In whatever kind of relationship, we ought to treat each other with grace, just like how God treats us. If God can forgive us whenever we confess our sins and ask forgiveness for them, how can we not forgive those who have wronged us?

On the other hand, whenever we ask forgiveness from others, may we understand the full weight of our wrong actions. The moment you have been forgiven, do not take that grace for granted. Treasure the second chance you have been given.

Also read: How to be More Understanding in a Relationship: 12 Ways

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