How to be More Understanding in a Relationship: 12 Ways

understanding in relationship
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

A romantic relationship, just like any other type of relationship, cannot work without understanding. It is one of the most necessary qualities that two people should be able to give. It allows you to show who you are without walking on eggshells, and at the same time, it widens your perspective as you put yourself in the shoes of others.

Not all people, however, can stretch their understanding any longer. There will always come a time when you would want to drop everything off and focus on yourself. But if you want to give your relationship a chance, listed below are some ways to be more understanding with your partner.


1. Remind yourself that really knowing a person may take time.

Your chemistry may tell you that you are perfect for each other, but that is not enough to know your partner well. You have to see them not only as your boyfriend/girlfriend but as an individual who is different from you. You should know their flaws, weaknesses, capabilities, and the things that make them sad and happy.

Do not be in a rush. If you want to spend your life with the person, then accept that you may need months or years to know who you are with.


2. Know and understand yourself as well.

You will find it difficult to understand someone else if you cannot even process and understand your own feelings and emotions. You should be able to identify the things that give you happiness and sorrow and those that trigger your temper. You also have to comprehend how you come up with decisions. If you already know them, then it will be less difficult to see your partner’s views and empathize with their struggles.

Also read: How to Love Yourself in a Relationship: 15 Ways to Practice Self-Love


3. Do not expect them to follow your views.

You may think you are more mature in making decisions or dealing with things, but it is never right to impose your ideas and assume that your partner will follow you. This may make them feel that their thoughts are invalid and at the same time, you would not be able to see their emotions.

If you want to understand your partner, take note that you have to respect their beliefs and it is okay to have different opinions. In fact, it is a good way to promote a healthy conversation.


4. Do not own your partner.

Give them the freedom to have a life other than their life with you. You have to keep in mind that your partner’s world should not revolve around the relationship. Do not expect that you will be their priority. Allow them to find happiness outside of your life together. They should be able to have fun even without you.


5. Recognize that they have personal goals.

If the time comes that your partner needs to be away from you to pursue their dreams, do not try to stop them. Of all people, you should be the one to encourage them to live the life they want, especially if that means reaching their dreams. Even in your absence, your partner should know how to live.


6. Take note that you cannot always agree.

Being an understanding partner requires you to listen to them, even when their views are entirely different from yours. Do not shrug them off. Remember, you cannot be right all the time. If you would only try to impose your ideas and not be open to theirs, then your conversation will only end up in an argument.


7. Compromise. Compromise. Compromise.

There is no better way to find a common ground than to stop believing that you are always correct. Do not treat your partner as if they are an enemy. You are in a relationship, and so you must avoid upsetting each other just because your views are not on the same page. Sometimes, it helps to agree to disagree.


8. Allow your partner to speak their side.

Your partner will make you feel angry at some point. Before you react and start a fight, give them a chance to express their reasons. They should be comfortable in being honest and not feel scared to explain their side. Do not judge them right away. Once you choose to get angry and allow your emotions to take over, all the more that you would fail to understand your partner.

Also read: How to Make Your Partner Listen to You: 11 Ways


9. Understand where your partner is coming from.

Being understanding can drain you, especially when your partner causes you pain. However, if you want to keep the relationship, you have to gather the courage to hear their side and be conscious of their intentions. It is also a way to give yourself a chance to know what motivates their actions.


10. Choose to be kind.

Your partner will be at fault at times, but do not let it be an excuse to be rude to them. No matter how bad your issues get, let kindness rule the relationship. Shouting at your partner or expressing insulting words will only lead to another problem. If you are about to get rude, remind yourself that it will not do anything good and your partner — the person you love the most — does not deserve it.

It is important to note that anger is a normal and valid emotion, especially if you were hurt. However, it may only destroy a relationship. If you want to be understanding, you ought to be gentle as you work on your issues hand in hand.

Also read: 16 Good Ways to be Kind in a Relationship


11. Give your partner a chance to redeem themselves.

As a partner, it helps to allow your boyfriend/girlfriend to learn from their mistakes instead of just cutting them off right away. Understanding them and weighing things out is a way to save a dying relationship. It is also a step to your healing as you get to recognize your partner’s willingness to prove themselves one more time.

If you consider this tip, you have to accept that this requires a lot of patience. You should also avoid bringing up their mistakes if you truly want to support them and fix the relationship. Look at their effort and appreciate how they want to make it up to you.


12. Promote openness and honesty in the relationship.

It is important to know that not all people are capable of speaking out their feelings. This is one of the reasons why a lot of romantic relationships fail. Thus, you have to encourage your significant other to communicate their thoughts in a way that you can understand them.

As a partner, you should make them feel that it is totally okay to put their ideas into words. Do not create an air where they would assume you would get pissed at them once they start talking. Make them comfortable so you would get used to being open and honest when issues arise. It will also allow you to come up with better decisions once you deal with unexpected circumstances.

Also read: How to be Honest in a Relationship: 12 Ways


Be kind.

Your partner can often get into your nerves that you would sometimes lose your interest in the relationship. The best way to deal with it is to be kind to each other and sympathize with their emotions. Always remember that you are two different individuals, so if you want to stay together, learn to be understanding and accept that you cannot always be in sync.

Also read: 16 Good Ways to be Kind in a Relationship

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