Is it possible to learn to love someone to whom you are not attracted? Can true love happen between two people who do not feel sparks when together?
Well, first of all, true love is not defined by having butterflies in the stomach. It is not also about feeling electrical currents when your hands touched. True love is characterized by respect, trust, understanding, and commitment, among others.
Therefore, yes, true love can develop over time. The more two persons get to know each other and realize how they complement together, the more they are likely to be in love.
Here are some reasons that will convince you why you can learn to love someone:
1. True love grows through time.
If “love at first sight” is one of your qualifications in looking for true love, then you might not find it at all. True love does not happen overnight, let alone a minute right after you have met. It takes time for love to bloom and establish.
Therefore, it is not impossible to learn to love someone you usually spend time with. Discovering that you are compatible with each other, how caring and responsible the person is, and how you feel happy when s/he is around can eventually lead you to like and love the person.
2. Friendship can make you realize if a person is the one for you.
An ample amount of time and friendship are two of the most important elements in growing in love. The truth is, many successful marriages founded their love on friendship. These couples started as good friends before they realized they are better as life partners.
The good thing about starting as friends is you get to know each other first before committing to a relationship. Discovering your friend’s likes, dislikes, principles, and traits before considering him/her as a romantic partner allows you to have a sound judgment. Meaning, you would not blindly commit yourself to the person and later get shocked by his/her flaws.
3. You learn to see a person beyond his/her looks.
True love is not based on outward appearance. Therefore, if you start liking someone without considering his/her looks, it could mean that you are on the way to genuine love.
The danger of dating someone good-looking is you could be blinded by the person’s physical appearance that you neglect checking on his/her emotional, mental, social, and spiritual maturity. Physical attractiveness is just a bonus when looking for a suitable life partner. It should be the last on your checklist.
4. Constant companionship leads to attachment.
Being used to the presence of someone can result in attachment. You would realize this once you separate ways or stop communicating for a while. It would cause you to long for that person and be anxious to reconnect with him/her. When you reach this point, you may realize that you are in love with the person.
However, not all cases of attachment can be considered love. Sometimes, it could just be a simple case of getting used to the person. Without the elements of considerable time, friendship, and sound character judgment, it is not safe to say that it is true love.
5. Kindness is a desirable trait.
Admit it; it is not difficult to grow fond of a person who is kind to you. Kindness is a universal language that can soften the heart of anyone recipient of it. Such trait is even more attractive than physical appearance and social status.
If someone is very nice to you, it is not impossible to learn to love that person eventually. Being with a person like this would make you feel loved and cared for, which many people long for. Well, not everyone gets treated kindly every day.
Also read: 16 Good Ways to be Kind in a Relationship
6. Being in peace and harmony with someone can make your heart settle.
Moreover, it is not difficult to be in love with someone you have a harmonious friendship with. As you grow older, you realize that living a peaceful life with people dear to you, like your spouse and kids, is more important than enjoying a great romance.
Once you find that individual with whom you can comfortably share quietness and laid-back evenings and weekends, that is it. That someone could be the person you would love to grow old with.
7. Learning to appreciate small efforts is bliss.
Is there anyone who consistently puts an effort to make you happy? When you start appreciating what that person does for you, your heart will begin to open to him/her. Therefore, as you continue to enjoy the attention and care, you realize that this could be the person who would never get tired of love for you.
A heart that can appreciate every little thing would not find it hard to love. If you are an appreciative person, you have a simple heart that is not hard to please.
8. A person who is with you through ups and downs is a must-kept.
It is rare to have someone who would stay in both good and bad times by your side. If there is a person who celebrates with you in your success and helps you in need, s/he must love you. Knowing there is someone like this who cares for you, would you not grow fond of that person?
Typically, people learn to love those who help them get up when they are down. They realize that these persons are the ones who will be there for them in whatever season of their lives.
9. Not everyone can accept you for who you are.
For you, what is the best trait that you want in a partner? Caring, sweet, patient, or responsible, perhaps? One of the signs that a person truly loves you is when s/he can completely accept you for who you are. Despite your flaws and failures, that person would continue to remain by your side.
If you know someone who sticks with you despite your embarrassing past, lousy attitude, or negative reputation, that person indeed loves you. How could you not love someone who regards you like this?
10. Someone who knows how to take care of you is a rare gem.
It is easy to grow in love with a person who takes care of you the right way. The right way means s/he precisely knows what you need even before you say it. Plus, s/he does it in a manner that is not annoying nor intrusive.
Once you find this kind of person, do not let him/her go. Soon, you will learn to love that individual genuinely. Indeed, you would not regret giving your heart to that person because s/he will take good care of it.
Love is a Decision
Always remember that love is not a fleeting emotion that brings you to cloud nine. Love is a commitment—a decision to make. It comes with the determination to stay faithful, caring, and responsible for the person you choose to share your life with. In short, loving someone is something you can consciously choose to do every day.
Also read: Can True Love Wait? 8 Reasons It Can