How to Find True Love: 12 Ways to Have Real and Lasting Love

finding true love
Photo by Vince Fleming

Finding true love is one of the most beautiful and exciting journeys that you’ll ever experience in your life. It is more than a search for happiness; it is a search for the self and how being with that very special person can inspire you to appreciate life, help yourself grow, and learn how to love another person selflessly.

If you want to learn how to find true love and be happy, here are 12 ways to finding real and lasting love.


1. Learn how to love and take care of yourself.

Before you can find true love, you have to learn how to truly love yourself first. Loving yourself means making sure that you’re taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. You’ll only find true love if you’re at your best self. If you are at your best or you’re trying to be your best version, you’ll attract good people. You’ll attract love, the right kind of love.

Also read: 15 Beautiful Ways to Truly Love Yourself


2. Make sure you’re ready and are healed enough.

If life has been hard on you and you had a bad experience from a previous relationship, make sure that you’re healed enough first. Healing from a heartbreak or a terrible breakup should be a priority so that you won’t bleed on other people. If you try to start a new relationship with someone while you’re still hurting, it will just only lead to unhealthy attachments. Unhappiness in relationships often comes from unhealed trauma.

Also read: How to be Happy Again After a Breakup: 11 Helpful Tips


3. Know what kind of person you want to be with.

Make sure that you know the kind of person that you want to be with. Do you want someone who shares the same interests and perspectives with you? Or would you rather meet someone who is totally different from you? After all, new things, new views, and new interests can be very exciting. They can bring out another side of yourself that you didn’t know existed.


4. Be with the right crowd and find your tribe.

Hang out with the right people and who knows, your true love might have just been within your circle all along. Make sure that you’re spending the best moments of your life with the people who truly understand you. Those people who accept you for who you are without judgment or reservations. Being with these wonderful human beings will help you attract like-minded individuals who might just add color to your life, and more!


5. Rekindle old friendships and strengthen new ones.

Aside from spending time with your current circle, why not try to rekindle lost friendships? People from our childhood or even from some special moments in your past might bring with them a surprise. You can also focus on strengthening new friendships by getting to know them better. Some of the most interesting people out there are mostly just too introverted to open up. Find time to explore the possibilities of love and romance by giving them a chance to get to know you, vice versa.


6. Learn your lessons from past experiences and relationships.

In order to find true love, make sure that you’ve learned the lessons from your past experiences. Correct old habits that have caused you sadness or frustration. Unlearn behaviors that contributed to your unhappiness. More importantly, learn from the mistakes of previous relationships. What went wrong and what should you do to avoid it from happening? How will these lessons help you find and know the signs of true love?

Also read: 15 Signs of True Love in a Relationship


7. Ask for advice from the people who genuinely care.

You’ll only find true love if you’re on the right path and at the right stage in your life. If you think you are not yet ready for a new relationship or that you are still haunted by not-so-ideal relationships in the past, ask for help. You’ll find the best advice from the people who genuinely care about you. Family members, friends, and other people can help you figure out what you need to do. As the second section in this article pointed out, true love will only come to you when you’re ready for it. It will come to you only when you deserve it.


8. Don’t let your fears and insecurities get the best of you.

For you to find true love, you have to find your strength first. Amplify the best things about yourself and nurture them. Don’t let your fears of getting hurt prevent you from opening yourself up to new experiences and new people. Fear will only trap you and hide you from those who want to see the true you. More importantly, don’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Insecurities and the self-doubt that comes with it can be crippling. It will make you unreceptive of love and care from others because you don’t feel that you deserve them.

Also read: How to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship: 12 Tips


9. Get out of your comfort zone and start exploring.

If you’re finally ready to go out there and find true love, the only way to get started is to get out of your comfort zone. They say that the best things in life can only be found outside of your comfort zone. This is entirely true for many people who finally met the love of their life. They can agree that it’s only when they decided to explore new things and places that they met the one.


10. Reach out and let other people in.

Getting out of your comfort zone is a good step but you should not stop there. You should also try and let people in. Let them in your life by sharing with them the best of you and letting them see the most vulnerable part of you. Reach out to them and show them that you trust them by just being you, free and confident to just be you. Go out on dates and meet different people who might just be right for you. If it doesn’t work out, it just means that you gained a friend.


11. Rely on technology to connect you to more people.

There are billions of people in the world and technology has allowed us to connect and meet different people every day. Modern day dating presents challenges and new experiences, and online dating is one of them. Aside from connecting you to people with similar interests, it’s a shortcut to finding people who share the same perspectives in life. Maybe the love of your life is just a swipe away? What if your true love is just on the other side of the world and is waiting for you to make a move? Be open to new experiences and new people and you’ll be surprised with what you’ll discover.


12. Just be yourself and let your beauty from within shine.

Whether it is online dating or going out on physical dates, the best way to find true love is to embrace your uniqueness. Let the right person see your true beauty by just being yourself, doing what you love doing, and just loving yourself the way you want to be loved.


Final thoughts

Hopefully, this article helped you see that in order to experience real love, you have to realize that it’s not just about finding someone. It’s also about finding and accepting yourself in the process. True love and self-love always go together. You have to understand that you can never pour from an empty cup. Fill yourself with happiness and love so you can share these gifts with the person who deserves them.

Also read: Is True Love Worth Waiting For? 9 Reasons to Wait or Not to

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