Let’s face it. Romantic relationships occupy a huge part of our lives that, a lot of our decisions, mostly important, depend on the person we choose to share memories with. We establish a companionship with trust, faith, and a long list of plans that will not be the same with someone else.
Not all love stories, however, last a lifetime. Some would only devastate us. We would find ourselves on the floor, unable to lift our bodies as if a pile of blocks is on our shoulders. If you are bombarded with all the bad and the ugly of a painful breakup, here are some helpful tips on how to be happy again after a breakup.
1. Feel the pain.
The process of letting go can be destructive. Keep in mind that it is natural to feel that. You have to allow yourself to get hurt and cry it all out. There is no shortcut. You will have to step into that phase before you could go through it one day as if you never did. Denying and invalidating your emotional burden will only hinder you from moving forward.
2. Recognize your mistakes.
Moving on is hard, so do not make it harder. When breakups happen, people tend to look at the mistakes of their exes because it is easier to blame others than to admit their flaws. Take note that two people in a relationship should have equal responsibilities, and that includes acknowledging their own mistakes to figure out the root cause of a problem.
You have to weigh things out to assess your situation. That way, you will understand why your love story could not continue. Avoid blaming it all on your ex. Holding grudges and negative emotions only makes you more miserable.
3. Learn from your mistakes.
Recognizing what you have done wrong does not end there. You have to learn from them and ensure you will not repeat them in the future. It is an important lesson that will help you grow as a better human being. Learning from your flaws helps you create a positive outlook in relationships.
Also read: 16 Wise Ways to be a Better Person in a Relationship
4. Take a rest from social media.
It is undeniable that social media has become a part of people’s day-to-day life. You wake up and check your phone to see updates from your friends or ex. It is best to take a rest from your accounts and avoid visiting that person’s profile. It does nothing but feeds the pain in your heart that is already growing. You should also avoid explaining to the world.
As much as possible, do not post or give updates to your virtual friends. They might have loved your sweet posts before, but the truth is, they do not need them. Remember, you do not owe the world an explanation – especially the superficial one. Besides, the internet already has a lot of toxicities. You do not need another.
5. Find your space.
You have been with one person for a long time so you feel lost afterward. This is why it is helpful to find your space to detach yourself from the person when dealing with a breakup. You need to know where you belong. You can meet new friends, find a support group, or do anything to make you realize that you are not alone.
However, finding your space does not necessarily mean you have to be with people. A good space can also be your solitude or anywhere you feel safe being yourself.
6. Make yourself busy.
It may sound cliche, but keeping yourself occupied is an effective way to lift yourself in times of heartbreak. Of course, it is easier said than done. Getting up in the morning is difficult because you have to force your body to move. But you have to remember that you cannot destroy your life for that one person.
You have a job to remind you that you can do many, many things because you are smart and capable. Make use of your time where you can get something in return.
7. Be creative.
Aside from your job, you have to find other things to pour your productive energies into. Turn the pain into creativity. Go paint, write, hike, get a pet, take care of plants – basically anything new to you. This is also a great way for you to discover more about yourself. Start from one activity you are interested in.
8. Workout.
Instead of inviting hate, release some sweats and happy hormones! Exercising at least five times a week has been proven to be effective in soothing one’s mood. It does not have to be extensive. You can go for a 30-minute brisk walk or find a good workout plan that will suit you and keep you active. Give it a few weeks and you will notice how much you have changed emotionally and physically.
If you have a morning job and cannot squeeze it into your time, you can add it to your evening routine. This will help you achieve a better sleeping pattern. As they say, endorphins are the best pain killers.
9. Do not be in a hurry.
Never think about getting into another relationship just to forget your ex. It may work for some, but this may be unfair to your prospective partner. You have to give yourself some time to heal without holding somebody else’s hand. Using other people will not help you learn from your mistakes.
10. Travel.
It will hurt to stay in that same place where you have built many memories with your ex. Shops and restaurants and parks may only remind you of the person. It helps to leave for a while and go to a foreign city or country where everything is unfamiliar. This does not suggest, however, that you will automatically forget your ex. He/she may stay in your mind and you will remember him/her at one point or another, no matter how much you wish to escape.
The purpose of traveling is for you to take a break from the usual. You will discover different cultures, traditions, food, and other things that will make you realize that the world is too interesting to lock yourself in your room.
11. Build a life on your own.
After a breakup, one of the hardest steps is to move on with your life as you disregard what’s written on your relationship bucket list. When you have been with someone for a long time, it is normal to feel so attached that it seems you are a different person without him/her. You have to detach yourself from that chapter. Start building your own life without considering your ex. Before you even think about your next love story, it is important to develop your individuality.
Final thoughts
We are all rational beings until we face that one kind of pain that changes our perception of love. But you have to remember that just because you are hurting does not mean you will not be happy anymore. Your world should not revolve around romantic relationships. There is more to life than a life partner. You have to work on yourself until you become whole again.
Love yourself. Know your value. After all, you cannot completely love someone else if you do not appreciate your worth.
Also read: 15 Beautiful Ways to Truly Love Yourself
