Being with someone and sharing your life with them should inspire you to be a better human being. The dynamics may differ from one relationship to another, but there should be no excuse for resorting to bad behaviors that could damage a person.
It is understandable that people tend to lose patience and be spiteful, but you have to let respect and compassion rule the relationship. Sure, it is not easy to be consistent in being good. You will fail at times no matter how you want to prove yourself. But there are ways you can do to even improve as a partner and an individual.
Consider the following wise ways to be a better person in your relationship.
1. Prioritize your growth.
Do not just stay where you are, especially if you remain stagnant and unhappy. You have to keep moving and exploring and looking for new things to learn. Be determined to grow and go outside of your comfort zone. Feed your mind and gain wisdom so you can make better decisions.
2. Heal yourself.
A lot of us go through past traumas that still manifest in our actions and decisions today, even after many years. This is one of the reasons why we falter at being kind at times as we tend to push people away out of fears and assumptions. It affects our personal relationships that sometimes we wonder if we deserve to love and be loved in return.
Take note that it is not your fault that you suffer from traumas. Never blame yourself for your struggles. I know how difficult it is to go through them, but please know that you can heal, one step at a time.
3. Be considerate.
A relationship between two people should be for two people and never one-sided. When making decisions, you have to consider each other’s opinions and ideas. It does not matter how small or big it is. You may think that you know better, but you have to always hear your partner out when they express their side.
Also read: 16 Good Ways to be Kind in a Relationship
4. Learn to police yourself.
It is inevitable that you will make mistakes at one point or another. You will also have judgments about your partner. While it is normal, you have to be able to recognize that you are not always right, and you should stop yourself from doing the wrong thing.
5. Do not think of revenge.
Yes, even when your partner hurts you, it is not good to do evil things with the intention of hurting them back. Going through pain should make you realize that nobody deserves it, even the people who did you wrong. Revenge will only turn you into a bad person who wishes ill on someone else.
Regardless of the reasons, it will never help you with your healing. Besides, would you want to be someone who would be happy to see another person suffer? Your feelings may be valid, but that does not automatically mean your behavior is.
6. Know that respect is the most important of all.
A relationship can never be healthy if two people cannot stay respectful with each other. Of course, there will be circumstances when you would be furious about your partner, but that should not justify disrespect and rude behaviors.
7. Understand your partner’s boundaries.
Your partner may be the closest person to you, and you may be comfortable around each other, but you have to keep in mind that they have boundaries you should not cross, and vice versa. You have to respect their personal space and privacy. This includes allowing them to have time for themselves and not checking their phone without permission.
8. Practice introspection.
Before you decide on something, make sure that you really think about it. You have to make it a habit to examine your mental and emotional processes. It allows you to reflect, know yourself better, and deeply discover how you go about things, especially those that matter to you. It is also a way to care for your mental health. Once you practice assessing your thoughts, you slowly dissect what’s wrong and what’s right.
9. Do not take all things personally.
Keep in mind that your partner still has a separate life from you and your relationship, so do not assume that his actions and thoughts are all about you. Taking things personally only leads to unnecessary issues, such as insecurities.
10. Appreciate your partner.
The longer you are together, sometimes, the less you notice the things your partner does for you. It is important to say thank you to them, even for the little effort they make. Recognize their love languages and make them feel that you value them.
Also read: 13 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Valued
11. Do not expect that your partner will do anything for you.
Just because they love you does not mean they should do things beyond their capacity. It is not good to demand them to do something and get angry when they fail to. If you are willing to give extra effort to keep your significant other happy, do not use it against them and expect that they should do the same.
12. Never gaslight your partner.
One important thing to remember, whether in a relationship or not, is that gaslighting is a toxic behavior. It makes your partner question the kind of person they are, which may take a toll on their mental health. Do not be the reason for them doubting themselves.
13. Be open to criticisms.
One of the best ways to be a better person in a relationship is to accept that you are not always right. Allow your partner to call you out and listen when they criticize you. Do not feel bad about it. Besides, it should make you realize that your significant other cares for you because they only want you to be better. That is how you learn and grow. That is how you help yourself avoid the same mistakes over and over.
14. Avoid petty fights.
Some fights may be shallow, but when they become compounded, sometimes they result in a chaotic breakup. This is because you get used to making all things a big deal even when they are not necessary. It drains your energy, and little by little, you lose interest in the relationship.
15. Support your partner’s dreams.
One of the best proofs of loving someone is how you encourage them to reach their goals. Do not make them feel those are not important to you. Let them know that you are there for them and you want what is best for them, even if one day, they have to be physically away from you.
16. Do not be envious of your partner’s success.
Achievements are what make a person feel happy and fulfilled, so never take it as a threat when your boyfriend/girlfriend reaches them. You have to celebrate with them. If you think you have not achieved anything significant yet, do not feel pressured. Take your partner’s success as an inspiration to work harder.
Grow slowly but surely.
Becoming a better person in a relationship does not always happen swiftly. And in the process, you will fail many times before you could truly say that you have improved. That’s okay. Do not be in a rush. As long as you know where you are going, you are already doing a great job.