Being jealous in a relationship can be toxic. One must understand that when such a feeling overtakes you, the problem is not with your partner. It is about you. This is why you have to develop a good sense of self-awareness about your emotions.
One glaring reason for jealousy is low self-esteem. When you are not confident about yourself, and you feel that your partner could find someone else at any time, you tend to project your insecurities onto them. This happens when your false beliefs overpower you. Once you become empowered and gain confidence, you understand that there is no point in being too hard on yourself.
If you want to learn how to deal with your jealous partner or even with your jealous self, here are 12 tips to overcome jealousy in your relationship.
1. Acknowledge that you are a jealous person.
You cannot be better if you deny that the problem is on you. You have to recognize that you feel it instead of pretending that you don’t. Of all people, you have to be honest with yourself. What is the impact of jealousy on you? How do your insecurities make you feel? Of course, it is not easy to admit that you are envious, but you have to take heart in the truth that you are willing to fix the relationship by starting with yourself.
Also read: How to be Humble in a Relationship: 14 Ways
2. Determine where your jealousy is coming from.
Although being jealous leads to relationship issues, it helps to avoid seeing it as a problem. Instead, please take it as your first step to finding the right solution. It can be your way to find clarity about yourself. You are a human being. You feel deeply. You have the ability to go through different emotions. And these emotions, whether positive or negative, are there for a reason.
So, do not hate yourself for being jealous. You cannot just shrug it off. The first step is to understand why you are feeling it. You may ask: If I am jealous, what issue does it try to address? Start there so you can figure out how to stop feeling it. Once you focus on the real problem, it will be easier to address it and feel relieved.
3. Know your needs.
We all require certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth, and contribution. These are the six human needs that we have to meet so we can achieve a healthy relationship. Being jealous may also tell you something about them. They have an impact on the decisions you follow.
Remember that when you get jealous, it is a decision. It is not something that happens because of your partner’s mistakes or behaviors. It is because of your values and views. There is always a way to control it, and you have to start from where it began – your thinking, feelings, and needs.
4. Take note of your insecurities.
It is not easy to stop being a jealous partner, but it is best to start assessing yourself. What are the things that make you jealous? Do you doubt yourself because you find others much better than you? Do you compare yourself to other men or women? List them down. You are doing it not to make you feel bad about yourself but to understand the reasons for your insecurities.
5. Practice being confident.
Once you have enumerated the things that make you insecure, you may figure out how you could stop each of them. For instance, if your partner’s ex makes you feel jealous, you can list down the qualities that made your partner love you. If celebrities on social media only magnify your flaws, it is best to unfollow them.
Give yourself some space from all the things that only make you feel inferior. Cultivate self-confidence. That is how you can overcome jealousy, whether in a relationship or not.
6. Be honest about your struggle.
Your girlfriend or boyfriend probably has noticed that you are jealous. But that does not mean you have to assume that they completely understand you. You have to start an effective communication where you acknowledge your jealousy, and at the same time, you hold your partner accountable if they are contributing to your issues. It would be best if you give them the chance to be there for you as you work on the problem.
Also read: How to be Honest in a Relationship: 12 Ways
7. Determine the right coping skills for you.
You make it harder to overcome jealousy in a relationship if you do not follow healthy steps. If your significant other does not lie or cheat for any reason that could make you suspicious, then it is on you to appease your emotions. You have to understand that you do not have to be jealous. You do not need it. You have just become used to being one.
It pays to prioritize self-care. You have to put your emotional and mental health first all the time. Once you start focusing on healthy coping mechanisms, you eventually make it a habit to follow them until you stop being jealous.
8. Seek professional help.
Sometimes, the source of people’s insecurities is deeper than we think. Many individuals suffer from traumas that cause them to feel doubtful or find it difficult to be confident about themselves. It helps to talk to the right people. It is best to see a psychologist and open up about your struggles.
Remember, it is normal to have yourself checked. In fact, you are a strong person for recognizing that you need help. This is a step to turning your issues into your source of courage.
9. Be supportive of your partner.
If your partner’s achievements make you jealous, then your relationship has unhealthy competition. It is a sign that you cannot be happy for your boyfriend or girlfriend’s success. Loving a person should not make you feel insecure about your goals. Instead, you have to celebrate with them and support them all the way.
10. Do not rush.
Jealousy is such a complex emotion. And for a lot of people, it takes a long period to overcome it. Give it some time. Allow yourself to heal and never force it. Follow your own pace and believe that, like others, you can overcome it, too.
11. Appreciate your partner.
Your significant other has been there for you, trying to prove that you have nothing to be jealous about. You have to listen and recognize the effort. A healthy relationship should teach you to be appreciative of love languages and actions, whether big or small. Let your partner know that you are grateful for everything they do.
12. Know your value.
There is no better way to stop being jealous than to love yourself and know your worth. When jealousy demands you to compare yourself again to other people, remember that you have qualities that make you an amazing human being. Others may have what you lack, but you also have many things that make you unique and beautiful. You are doing great. And you have to give yourself a pat on the back.
Be a better person.
Jealousy may kick in and prompt you to notice your flaws and make you feel that you are not good enough. Please take it as an opportunity to redirect your focus on what you care about. Being jealous does not have to create issues. Sometimes, you have to use it as an instrument to fix yourself and become a better person.