A romantic relationship should serve as our comfort in this chaotic life. It should reassure us that a loving hand would be there to hold us, especially during dark times. With all the stress in our jobs, homes, and all the demanding events that come in layers, we should be able to run to our partner when everything becomes unbearable.
The problem, however, is that sometimes, it is the very reason for our struggles. And one of the common reasons is that our idea of relationships is still immature and toxic. We treat our past as our pedestal without realizing that it was not even healthy in the first place.
If you want to be more mature in a relationship, here are some tips for you.
1. Do not give up other personal relationships.
A lot of people stop hanging out with their friends when they finally find someone to share their life with. Although it is normal during the honeymoon stage, keep in mind that your family and friends have been your constants, and you have known them better than your significant other.
You want to be mature, so you have to balance the time you spend with the people who matter to you.
2. Do not make your partner feel unappreciated.
If you have been together for a while, it might be easy to forget to thank your partner for the effort they make. A mature relationship does not fail to appreciate, even the little and simple things.
Also read: 11 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved
3. Be financially independent.
No matter the circumstances, do not ever think of giving up your financial independence. Your partner could promise to give you everything, but do not see it as an opportunity to leave your source of income. Nothing is more satisfying than being able to spoil yourself with your own money and not depending on someone else’s bank account.
4. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities.
To be mature in a relationship, do not dwell on the bad and negative traits. Look at the good things your partner does and avoid belittling them for their imperfections.
5. Reach your goals.
Your relationship should not stop you from following your dreams. It should bring out the best in you and encourage you to improve as an individual. Take note that a mature person, no matter how in love they are with someone, would not be truly happy if they are forced to give up their goals.
6. Do not shove your idea of happiness.
Your perception of happiness may be different from your partner’s, so you have to accept that you will not always be on the same page. For instance, if they enjoy their solitude, then you have to give them space. It is best to ask them what makes them happy instead of making assumptions. You should also be open to letting them know your idea of fun.
7. Respect yourself all the time.
Loving someone too much is never an excuse to give up your self-respect. While it is okay to change a bit during a relationship, do not allow your partner to treat you badly, such as being violent and verbally abusive. Giving them that chance and allowing them to continue is proof that you are losing the respect you have given to yourself.
8. Always mean what you say.
Especially when you speak words of affection, make sure that you truly feel them. For instance, do not say “I love you” just for the sake of saying it. Let your partner hear it at the right moments when your heart asks you to. In the same way, avoid saying things you would only regret in the end, especially during heated arguments.
9. Do not feel guilty about your own happiness.
Being mature in a relationship requires you to understand the importance of the happiness you find within yourself. You should not give it up for whatever reason there may be. This also means that the joy you feel should not only depend on your partner. You should know how to be happy even without them.
Also read: Top 8 Secrets To Be Happy in a Relationship
10. Do not be too needy and clingy.
You would feel the need to be with your partner all the time at the beginning of the relationship, and that is normal. But do not make it a permanent habit. Do not always seek attention, especially if they have a busy life to attend to. You should give your partner some space and avoid bombarding them with messages just because you miss them.
11. Know how to communicate.
When something is bothering you, say it. Do not expect that your partner will understand you all the time. Be open about how you feel and do not wait until your thoughts turn into bottled-up emotions that will only lead to worse issues.
12. Respect your partner’s decisions.
A mature relationship allows both individuals to decide, from the small things such as choosing what to get for dinner, to the big ones, like having kids. You have to be considerate of their views and respect them, and vice versa.
13. Do not wash your dirty laundry in public.
No mature person would want to expose their fights and arguments on social media. You have to keep the relationship between you and your partner and discuss personal issues in private. Posting something such as details of what made you angry would only ruin them and cause unnecessary gossip from people who do not even know you. No matter how your partner frustrates you, you should always choose to protect them.
14. Keep your boundaries.
No romance and affection should make you give up the boundaries you have set for your mental and emotional health. You can love your partner as much as you want, but do not let them destroy your peace and take up the space you reserve only for yourself. Continue loving your time alone and do not feel guilty about it.
15. Be happy for your partner’s achievements.
If you truly love someone, you should want what’s best for them. This includes supporting their dreams and celebrating their success. You should feel excited about what’s in store for them in the future instead of feeling scared of getting left out. Remember, love is not selfish. It should encourage growth.
16. Never, ever lose your identity.
When in a relationship, you tend to develop the same interests and hobbies because you want to spend more time together. While it is a good thing, you must not give up your own identity in an attempt to keep the relationship. Never lose yourself trying to impress your partner and make them happy. A mature person does not forget who she is and will remain who she is no matter how overwhelming love becomes.
Be a better version of yourself.
Achieving maturity in a relationship sure is a process that needs a lot of learning. And you cannot reach it if you do not mature yourself to begin with. So, before you long for a healthy long-term commitment with someone, start working on yourself first and become a better version that will make you proud of who you are.
When your view of a romantic relationship matures, you would understand that it should not be that hard. In fact, it should make you feel safe all the time and not the other way around.