When people fall in love and get into a serious relationship, they not only learn to accept all that is charming, but they also learn to deal with those that are annoying or frustrating about their partner. One of the most contentious qualities that can be viewed as either a charm and/or an annoyance is perhaps jealousy.
When our partners get jealous of another person in our lives, it shows that they love us and do not want to lose us; however, it may also indicate possessiveness and restrict or destroy our relationships with other people. If you find it overbearing already, then here are 7 effective tips to deal with a jealous partner in a relationship:
1. Make your partner feel special.
Perhaps your partner is jealous all the time because you simply do not make her/him feel special enough, or you make it seem like other people are more special to you than them. If this is the case, then it wouldn’t hurt to step up your game a bit. Now, this doesn’t mean that you will neglect the other people in your life or that you would offer your entire being and soul to satisfy your partner. You’re supposed to be prince or princess charming and not a slave after all!
Just give your partner a bit more of your time, remember and celebrate the important occasions (no matter how modestly), and sprinkle your moments with small gestures like a kiss on the forehead or hug from behind every now and then. You don’t have to light the town up with fireworks every time! Sometimes, a good old spark is all that is needed to scare the jealousy away.
2. Don’t just show, but also tell.
It is true that actions speak louder than words. However, wouldn’t it be better if you make use of both? Sometimes, a jealous partner might just be yearning for your oh-so-sweet words of comfort and assurance. So, aside from showing, also tell your partner how special she/he is to you. Tell her/him that she/he is your only one, and that you would not trade her/him for anyone else!
Of course, when you say these things, they have to be true! Telling your partner how important she/he is to you and giving your reassurance that you will remain faithful is a good way to eliminate any lingering shred of doubt or ambiguity in your true intentions. Let words do their magic!
3. Be more open to your partner.
Being mysterious is alluring. But don’t be too mysterious and secretive as to make your partner worry and think that there might already be someone better getting your fancy! Share your thoughts more with your partner. If you meet someone new, tell your partner about this person; or if your ex-girlfriend becomes your co-worker, do not die this fact.
Being open about these things will help your partner see that you are transparent. It will allow you to clear things out, like how Samantha is really just a new friend who shares the same hobby as you or like how you no longer have any feelings for your ex and that your relationship in the workplace is strictly professional. Of course, let us not be naïve; saying and being open about these things will not guarantee that the jealousy will go away, but it is definitely a good start in the right direction! It indicates initiative on your part as a good partner.
Also read: How to be Honest in a Relationship: 12 Ways
4. Be loyal and trustworthy.
No matter what you do to convince your partner that there is no need to be jealous, if you do not back up your persuasion strategy with genuine loyalty and trustworthiness, then there’s really no point in any of your actions. If you really flirt with other people while you are in a relationship, then you have to change that first!
Failing to have loyalty will simply make your other acts lies, and needless to say, your partner will continue to be jealous, and even possibly leave you for good! Once you enter into a relationship, be loyal to your partner, and show her/him that you are worthy of being trusted by having unfaltering loyalty. If you do these, you’ve already won half the battle against jealousy!
5. Do not be insensitive.
Now, you might truly be the most loyal person in the world, but if you are insensitive, then some of your actions might be misinterpreted and in effect, make your partner jealous. Learn to read the room and be more empathetic to your partner’s feelings.
If you are in a social gathering with your partner and other friends, avoid getting romcom-worthy moments with your friend Andrew, no matter how devoid of malice such moments really are to you, especially if your partner will be there to witness. Be more mindful of your actions, and learn to act accordingly. It might take a lot of practice, especially if you’re one of those really dense people, but you’ll get there eventually!
6. Learn to adjust and compromise.
We all have other people in our lives, other than our partners, who are special to us. And we should never forget or lose contact with these people just because we got into a relationship. However, as they say, with a great relationship comes great responsibility! Because you’re already in a relationship with Amber, you cannot remain as clingy and touchy with your childhood friend Janice anymore! Remaining to be so will only bring about misunderstanding and jealousy!
Of course, Janice would forever remain an important person in your life, but certain adjustments need to be made in your relationship as friends. Certain things you do with Janice need to be compromised so that Amber can have peace of mind and not have a reason to be envious. After all, if Janice is really your friend, she will understand the need for change.
7. Listen to their story.
We often view jealousy as just a naturally occurring phenomenon, a response to certain stimuli. However, sometimes, it is born from unique circumstances that we need to understand so that we may effectively manage it. If you find your partner being overly jealous that it becomes overbearing and frustrating already, do not immediately lash out and get angry. Instead, ask your partner questions on why they became the jealous persons that they are.
Perhaps, your partner is always envious because she had several people in the past who cheated on her and took advantage of her. Or it might be because she witnessed the deterioration of her parents’ relationship because of a third party. Listening to your partner’s story and getting to know the origin of her/his enviousness will not only help you be more patient, but it will also give you insight into what you should do to slowly remove her/his anxieties and help her/him think of you as truly a loyal partner.
Nobody is perfect. Even the most lovable person has a flaw or two, and sometimes, jealousy might be this imperfection. Do not let it get the better of the amazing relationship you might have with your partner. Like any other issue, jealousy can be fought and defeated. Use the 7 tips above to overcome the jealousy in your partner’s heart!