Most people know the surface definition of what love is but there are instances when they often fall to the idea of false love. But what determines something genuine from something that is not? First, we have to look at their individual characteristics and how different they are from each other. The next step is to actually acknowledge these truths. If you are still unsure, the article below will help you evaluate the qualities of true love vs. fake love.
Here are the differences between true love and fake love that you should know.
1. True love feels effortless; fake love requires a lot of energy.
You don’t have to think long and hard to know if it’s love. It feels effortless because it’s just there, present and existing. Fake love, on the other hand, needs constant reassurance; it needs a constant reminder that it’s there and it exists. This can be exhausting in the long run.
2. True love doesn’t mind waiting; fake love is often impatient.
True love is always patient and it doesn’t mind the wait. No matter how long, how far, or how slow its progress, it will reach its ultimate form and stay there for good. Fake love, on the contrary, is impatient and always in a hurry to reach its peak. That’s why fake love lacks foundation and is easily toppled down even with the slightest nudge.
3. True love gives without hesitation; fake love constantly demands.
True love offers you everything that you deserve without hesitation. Fake love, on the other hand, just asks and demands more without stopping. It can be tiring for a partner to give their all without being loved or nurtured back. Their cup, no matter how full, will eventually run out.
4. True love empowers; fake love brings you down.
True love empowers you and makes you become a better person, for yourself and not for other people. It helps you understand your strength. Fake love will bring you down, or worse, take away the dreams that you’ve wanted for yourself because of how it told you that it’s selfish to love yourself.
5. True love holds your hand; fake love possesses and smothers.
True love will stand by your side to hold your hand. It gives you the freedom to move and reach for your dreams. It also gives you the assurance that it will be there, in case you need it. Fake love possesses and smothers you. It will convince you that the safest place is with your partner and that your biggest obligation is to focus on your relationship alone.
6. True love soothes your anger; fake love inflames it.
Anger is a natural and necessary emotion, and true love understands that. When angry, your partner will give you a safe space to vent and just let it all out. True love gives you the assurance that you will have a shoulder to lean on when the storm passes. Fake love, on the other hand, fuels your anger and leaves you angrier and more resentful. It will not make any effort to help you navigate through your emotions, leaving you alone and exhausted.
Also read: 15 Signs of True Love in a Relationship
7. True love heals; fake love sucks all the happiness out of you.
True love helps you navigate through life’s darkest moments. It will help you heal the scars of the past and will support you to be better. Fake love, on the other hand, will further wound and hurt you. It will suck all the happiness that is left and turn you back into that dark place that you’re trying to heal from.
8. True love feels calm and warm; fake love leaves you afraid and always on guard.
True love makes you feel that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. It helps you calm down after a long and emotional day. It will provide you with a warm and cozy space to breathe. Fake love, on the other hand, reminds you to always be on guard. This is common especially if the relationship is not stable enough or if your partner is constantly threatening you to end the relationship after every fight.
9. True love does not doubt; fake love is always full of questions.
True love does not require proof that it exists. It does not doubt your intentions because it’s founded on mutual love and trust. Fake love is always full of questions: questioning your intentions, asking you to prove your feelings, constantly needing proof of sincerity, etc.
10. True love forgives but learns; fake love dismisses and forgets.
True love knows how to forgive. It also understands that people are flawed and mistakes can be made, so it learns. It learns from the experience and inspires you to aspire to be better so you know what to do next time. Fake love dismisses wrongdoings and forgets about them as a form of “resolution.” However, couples will find themselves in the same situation, and sometimes, these appear in their uglier, more damaging form.
11. True love inspires you to try new things; fake love makes you stagnant.
True love will give you the energy and the inspiration to explore new things, either alone or with your partner. This includes trying out a new hobby, joining new friend circles, traveling, and the likes. Fake love makes you stagnant because it will always demand your time, attention, and focus. It will convince you that setting aside time for new things will destroy your relationship.
12. True love builds healthy relationships; fake love burns bridges.
True love will give you the freedom to meet new friends, nurture your existing relationships, and connect with your family. Fake love, when not given the time and attention that it demands, will convince you that your other relationships are not a priority. Sometimes, out of jealousy, it will ask you to burn bridges just to feel secure.
13. True love encourages your professional growth; fake love impedes it.
True love will inspire you to achieve your goals in the professional field. Love can fuel passions and can give you the strength to move forward, financially and career-wise, because it means providing a stable home and income for your future family together. Fake love makes you doubt your potential. It makes you afraid to try because it will convince you that trying means failing. True love will tell you that it’s okay to fail, and you’ll always have a shoulder to lean on; you’ll always have the foundation to bounce back and try again.
14. True love helps you find yourself; fake love can make you lose your individuality.
True love is not possessive, smothering, and overprotective. It helps you become your truest, best self. It will help you discover things about yourself. Fake love will demand you to be that “perfect” person for your partner, even if it means turning you into someone you’re not.
15. True love lasts a lifetime; fake love is impermanent and fleeting.
True love stays and it will last a lifetime as long as you and your partner will nurture it. Fake love is not sustainable and it is impermanent because it grows out of the need to possess and own. True love comes from genuine trust, respect, and pure intentions.
Know what true love is.
Fake love is not a new concept but most still fail to see and recognize it until it’s already too late. Not spotting this concept early into the relationship can have a lasting impact. Trauma, self-doubt, and even losing yourself in the process are just some of its many long-term effects. Hopefully, reading this article has helped you recognize the signs. However, what you have to do doesn’t stop here. Apply what you discovered from this and use it to bring you the happy life and love that you deserve.