When you’ve experienced true love for the first time, you may not be able to imagine loving anyone else again. Finding out that you can love different people in different ways is sometimes unsettling. But there are many reasons why true love can end. Everyone has had their heart broken. Sadly, it’s a part of life – but a part that makes you grow as a person. You might wonder why you should ever take the risk of getting hurt again, but you know the answer deep down: because true love is always worth it.
So, can true love happen more than once? Yes – as long as you let it happen. Here are 10 reasons that true love can happen twice or more.
1. You no longer feel the pressure to be in a relationship.
When you’re young, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend often seems like a top priority. Many of the people around you are preoccupied with looking for someone who can make them happy. They spend much of their time, money, and emotional energy on trying to be attractive to potential partners and going on dates. It’s hard not to feel pressured to find someone too.
When you find true love for the second time, you’ve realized that love isn’t the destination; it’s part of the journey.
2. You have more experience.
Now that you have known true love, you have something to compare it to besides fictional couples from shows and movies, and previous crushes. When you have experience, you know more about what’s important to you in a partner, and this makes you more likely to find a better love than your first one.
3. You’re not afraid to love again.
Going through the trauma of a breakup can make you fearful of new situations. It’s completely understandable, because you want to avoid going through the same thing again. Unfortunately, this can lead to you defining love by your previous experience. This includes treating someone new as if they were the same person as your ex, and being afraid that they will hurt you in the same way.
True love can’t happen again if you are afraid to let it happen. Being constantly on guard for ways that a new partner could hurt you as your previous one did is not only unfair to your new partner, but it will also prevent your relationship from growing.
4. Your definition of true love has developed.
When you’re younger, your experience of true love is focused much more on your emotions, not the practical side of relationships. Bringing someone new into your life has effects that you should be ready for. By the time you’re ready for true love again, you’ve learned to ask yourself those important questions that determine compatibility beyond attraction. Do they share your life goals? Do they value work and family to the same extent that you do? Having this mature vision of true love means that you’ll know it when you find it.
5. You’ve accepted that your first love is over.
When you’ve truly let go, you deal with your inner self alone. You realize that at times, when you feel stressed, it may be connected to the pain of being left behind. You fully embrace the grief that comes with loss, instead of trying to suppress it. True love has wonderful moments as well as painful ones, and you probably wouldn’t trade it for anything. Acknowledging the good times as well as the bad ones honors your relationship in a way that will make it possible for you to move on.
6. You realize that actions matter more than words.
If your ex began acting differently, you might have made excuses for their behavior. If they suddenly started picking fights over trivial things or being inconsiderate towards you, you might have overlooked this because you thought that they were still a good person on the inside. But this kind of thinking can keep you in an unhealthy relationship.
Later on, you realize that if someone is showing you a side of himself or herself that you’ve never seen before, it means that they’ve changed and you don’t necessarily have to tolerate their behavior. When you find love again, you’ll know that how your partner treats you always matters more than what they say.
7. You have the right attitude.
When you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, you may somehow feel that you deserve new love in return for the pain you’ve just experienced. Even if you don’t feel this way, you may still otherwise be trying to find a new partner to distract yourself from your pain or insecurities. The hard truth is that even if you found a perfect relationship, these issues would still be present. You would still be doubting yourself, and what’s more, you would also be doubting your new partner. Having a relationship doesn’t immediately fix the issues that your breakup caused; that is something you have to do for yourself before you can find true love again.
8. Love is like riding a bike – you never really forget how.
Most likely, you will never forget your first love. It’s a unique mutual journey of discovering each other and yourselves. All the new experiences and levels of closeness that you reach for the first time will stay with you. It’s possible to absorb all the positive lessons that you learned from your first love, and share them with someone who is better for you. You realize that life goes on, and you can love someone else.
9. You choose not to give up.
On your darkest days, you may feel like losing your first love is the end of the world and you’ll never be happy again. Don’t give up. Choosing to love again when you know how painful it can be is the bravest thing you can do.
10. You love yourself.
It takes courage to love; be proud that you did. Ultimately, the one who will love you the most is yourself. If you know that you can rely on yourself, and you have a lot to offer, you will feel worthy of someone else’s love. And if you can prioritize your boundaries and express your needs, you will be able to be honest with someone new.
True love happens again, with courage and time.
The second time will not be like the first time. The first time will always be special. But this time you will be wiser and stronger, and a better partner for your true love.